Throughout our lives, major components of our identity are recognized, fostered, and developed: gender identity, racial identity, ethnic identity, family role, social networks, interests groups, etc. This identity development happens naturally because of social recognition of these components (with positive and negative implications i.e. stereotypes, gender roles, socio economic status, etc.) and matures freely within the parameters of the larger social norm. For example, a typically developing teenage boy would probably never ask himself the simple question, “What does it mean to be male?” because he has received all the cues, rules, and guidelines throughout his life from other males or depictions of males. What it means to be male goes without saying because we live in a society where the male identity is clearly defined. Now imagine if this same teenage boy were to live in a world of all females, different from everyone around him and lacking any social cues on what that difference means. How would he develop a sense of identity around what he knows to be a significant piece of his being?
Like the male growing up amongst females, Adoptees live in a world of physical and emotional isolation from significant populations of other Adoptees. This isolation results in an undeveloped sense of identity around a major, conspicuous, and inescapable component of their being. The solution has been to define the Adoptee superficially by the emotions and mechanics of the adoption process; but this no better defines the Adoptee than the story of a particular person’s birth defining that person. The purpose of this section of the Post Adoption Newsletter is to begin bridging the gap between Adoptees in order to create a sense of ethnic and social identity. The hope is that someday, because of Adoptee solidarity, “what does it mean to be an Adoptee” will go without saying.
